Grey in Rainbow by April Anne Nemenzo

Desperately calling for attention. Have you ever imagined being alone?… That looks before you left has nothing to do with me not until I stand on my own feet and walk in the shades of light on my own. It was not easy, but I stand as a rainbow. Different colors that I possessed because I don’t know where I am. I give colors to everyone around me but still it feels like I don’t belong here or somewhere. It was unhappily untold, and only my smile tells that I’m ok. But do you believe on those?

You walk through the door, I was hoping you won’t go. I was just a teeny-bopper, I remember I had my first heart ache with you. I gave my best weep and exerted tear, staring at the sky to stop this falls of water in my eyes. I keep on remembering that day, since you went away. Days passed so fast, that I don’t realize I am becoming the person every one loves, that the bright side of me gives them chill and relax. I have different colors that suits with everyone’s taste.

Craving for attention, I believed that this one is what I need to get. All the cravings that my own house did not give me for. I learned all by my self, grip on my own, finds happiness on my own and remember that I have mate and pals I can give attention with. Realizing all of the bright colors that I have, I’m still dull inside. Do you ever just get waves of missing someone for all your life? Being a bright child for the sake of the nurturer who brings me to this path that I have. Like I am always okay but deep inside I’m wounded, longing for the love of a woman who bears me inside of her life. The sudden shock of my heart that I couldn’t express cause the one should be responsible of taking care of me until I became a fine lady, need to leave for the sake of my future… How ironic it is. Like all my life I’ll go for a while and feel the awesomeness of this life to forget the hasty feeling of being left and alone, and then all of a sudden your heart aches because you remember there’s one thing you need. That’s the love of my mom who takes care another child in order to give me life that every child deserves to have…she believes.

I turned into a rainbow all my life who’s only seen after the rain and thunder that devastated my own life. I was on the midst of being confused and not feeling being loved. But the more I love my self, I realised that only those who are attracted from the color that I possessed are those who truly knows the beauty in me. The only one who can figure out the grey in me is me, and to the woman who turned me into grey is also the one who taught me to be this wonderful color of the rainbow. I still thank her because her leaving taught me to be strong and be an independent one. And this grey will always be part of the rainbow I have, this is why I am here because of that color that pictures the uniqueness I have. I will always be a rainbow and never forget the grey.

April Anne Nemenzo, Writer